the idea

makes me sick to my stomach.

I hid this

behind a wall

a tall wall

a tall steel wall with no doors and no windows

and I left it there.

Yet,

it chases me

from the other side

impossible to ignore

even till this day.

It was the secret message

at the bottom of the lake.

You knew the whole time

and I missed those signals.

Then and now is only a few seconds apart

unless you’re at the bottom of this lake and then last

twice as long.

Now will be gone

before then arrives.

staring down the barrel

forcing a cold steel kiss

serenade with wild tears

before she calls

the bang

never shocks you anymore

or the wall ahead.

you’re here

and same time next week.

time push back

we fight back.

Takes the most flack

strikes twice night.

Wish you good night

talk out yo back.

and

while you run from the slipping grip of shadowed hands

I’ll pause.

Watch you run.

Admire the way I feel to feel and feel

and the way it felt

when you turned that corridor

I feel

quiet.

I wanna be

I.

missed the shot

never took a second

look

just twice

and I won’t look away.

my plead falls on deaf ears

lines of coffins for sale

murder row and I

will waste no tears on your follies

but give them freely.

the fortune reads south

it was on a matter of time

martyr’s run wild

everyone runs but never

stands still.

unless we do it together

pleasing both gods.

Wishing a dream to life

Walking in shoes I woke up next to

Running faster then before

Telling her I love her

Running into the middle of the street

to tell her again.

I’ve been sitting on a lawn chair

smoking a pipe

watching my clouds chase their big brothers around

playing tag.

They dissipate

and the big brother

moved on.