i counted
all the way to one before i got lost in your eyes
at the tip of your lips you are mine
and i am yours
at two
i fall all over again
lost count
and started back at one
seventh club
the experience breaks fear-
found the experience at the tip of a card
now knives break against my skin
folding full houses and straights down the drain
but my knees still shake in the rain
quivering at the memories
traded for guilt
measured in nightmares,
at the tip of the card was a jack,
and now inside this club
try to scrub this sleep clean
before the fear breaks loose
art walk on seventh
nothing on the docket
guilty from a mile away
judge on vacation
jury marked absent
executioner on duty;
trial by society
fire and brimestone
hung from a gold star
walking the streets with their head in a bag
marked failure
martin
perish.
the back of a billboard read- perish.
lined in black paint and red letters
the chalk outline read- perish.
i didn’t know martin- that’s what i decided to call him
for he has no name other then- perish.
a lasting snapshot across two metal pipes
a slapshot in my memory filed under- perish.
i wrote in my journal to make sense of it;
to find lines to read between to justify time of life
and it all doesn’t just round up to- perish.
so i’ll give him a line, the least i can do
too see that red and black paint
didn’t erase your name
but will live on in mine,
a statue called-
perish.
a dream under the lights-
one way you’ll find yourself on your own
nothing wrong with that sitting from your ivory throne
just don’t phone home
with that stray
around your festive sleigh
carrying him over that archway
he’ll never be on broadway
all in the eyes;
i see tomorrow in your eyes
as i stare deep into the morrow
hands entangled
stars spangled
this is freedom;
i see shadowless plains
flowers in vases
paintings of cotton candy
a type writer by the window
newspapers on the table-
i sometimes see neighbors
i sometimes see a river;
a stream and a swing under a tree
free from social pressure and this is a refresher
theres us; theres us, just us
i see that;
a tree with a heart carved in
the honey in my tea
the treasure under the river
all in your eyes
gold and silver
a wall of mirrors
and i am invisible
raising my hands to the drapped ceiling
gold and silver
gods that saved me
but placed me here with no exit-
not a fun house or silly games
just a thousand me’s
that can’t be seen
sheen tipped arms
pressed against an isolated mirror
screaming for a handle;
taunted by gold
laughed by silver
a game
in their fun house
place holder
don’t let me get in the way
like a door stopper
just take your time;
but we see the inside
joy and love all in a single package
that isn’t on sale when I go to Target
but it is here,
trying to sign the papers to take part
but their eyes will take me apart
they know i don’t belong
just a possible gateway drug
to ruin their perfect world;
so they don’t look at me
just stand outside,
just watch
like a puppy waiting to be pet
watching her sister go instead
level up – 27th club
chalk it up to good luck
made it without mac
this is what he was afraid of
see what i am made of
i wish you could see what i became
you joined the club last week just walking knees
now it’s me survived on a breeze nowyour heart is at ease-
the man that i am- you would of hated it
you hated everything; but you would of thrown
a killer 27th club party
with boba
standing- one
no- two hundred people
and where ever we go
i see their faces
dust on my tips traces
of their existence gone in a flash
and all we can do is spend a morning in mass
begging for safe passage
begging for safe travel
for them, right, or
to rid the guilt from those still existing,
those lucky to say i love you one last time,
and across the street, kids are laughing, having chai tea
with boba.
safe passage for an invisible gate keeper
and the steps are boba
Saint's Muse 