Writing, Ideas, & Stories
it is in our dna
like a skeleton in our closet-
we were made through violence
the quake in my clench fist
was the same in my past life;
it is not what i am here for
to lay down the sword and wield a shield like cap
i will use words to diffuse
this fuse and the only bomb that will drop
are f bombs to clear the fucking rubble
history only outlines today
but will still build an empire
an euphoria haven of shields
cutting fields of old patterns
burying violence in a grave marked yesterday
i prayed once-
like a message in a bottle i threw it in an ocean of many
they clinked together like after a toast-
or a prayer
i do not know if they will ever get to mine or which god answers the phone
maybe it is like the lotto system and we are all on hold
waiting for our number to be called like the dmv;
the bottle was ordinary but the paper was special
out of a journal with muses on the cover
thought they would get a laugh out of that-
whatever god; he she it just know i was in a dark place
darkened scribes on a windy night
saying hello to the moon inches from a fall-
i would not bother you guys
if it was not important
was hoping to get into the priority lane
but i have missed church a few hundred times so i get it
just need something to go right-
anything;
challenge and admit
never one to quit
just on you-
on the full moon you showed your true colors
broken bottles fury nights slashing fights
knowing worth is not measure in dollars
just broken windshields
chasing night and day
like a dog on the freeway
not after a bone
looking for something i found and not ready to give up
the time has not come
just a chase;
worth every drip of sweat
blisters and speed bump-
for when i catch you
time moves at a reverse pace
your hand pushes the clock backwards
and moves mine forward
towards her on the tip of her chin
lip breaches her timid skin
surprised i caught her
but the chase only made time more valuable
she said she missed the old me-
the one with the funny jokes
and the unbreakable smile
never hanging from rope just above the tile
the version of you that never updated
who told stories of full hearts
standing- never wavered
now tells stories of death through fine arts
sit high like a king with his chalice
and below his subjects full of malice
switched from meat to salads
bought a case of m light and you were at wine palace
remember when we dropped acid-
where – did – you – go
( who walks in the shadows of your once peculiar self, the tepid demons haunt and talked their way into your skin to walk a path of coal never meant for your loving feet- they trashed you and colored your eyes green so you can profit and all i- we want is to banish and summon the cozy knight once more )
i walk tenderly in this skin
never to crease it
waiting for someone else to pick it up
call tradesies
because this never felt like mine
never felt like i was issued the right one
a number waiting in line but they handed me the wrong one
but i took it anyway; a thief in the night
could not wait to play
i know it like the back of my hand
but nothing more then a rental
went to the dealer and all i needed was insurance
came with endurance not reassurance
i kept it clean
plenty of damage on the inside
but the outside is good
just some black eyes
should at least get the deposit back
i am envious
i want to be the light that you see in me
the one that drew you
like a lighthouse it brings you home
yet
i hide the light
without knowing and without warning
turning i leave you out in the cold
my sign says twenty-four seven
but one and one i am off in a place
covered in cloud and thunder-
i want to be your lighthouse
bring you home every night safe and sound
through the cloud and thunder
i will find you
and not lost in my own storm
i found the answer
at the bottom of the bottle
like they all told me
the answer was;
keep diving
swim and swim
till standing feels like falling and falling is me with a helmet snorkeling in a tub filled with rubber duckies
and i can no longer stand
scraping the back of my leg
trying to climb back into my head
can feel me scaling my back like the side of a mountain
trying to get back into the command center – in the center of it all
watching as the brain dead empty vessel drowns himself
in peer acknowledgements
follow this at the top of his fingers
dancing quarters and flipping cups
beaten into a handstand submission
and a loud drive home,
insults are like rain
the day couldn’t get any worse
the sun will never rise again
but
it washes away the next day
written and erased
hundreds of words forgotten
the oceans tide beats on my back
laid out on the sun the kids called me a starfish
i have written lines in the sand
so they exist for a moment
a poem or a song i carry with me
now surfing on the waves- free
i can see them smiling
i have kept them in cages with no windows for years
i needed to take them out for a walk
before work in the morning
Saint's Muse 