i find myself closer to the bottom of the tool box
used only in extreme cases
every once in awhile
but forgotten when everything is good;
i get it
when the roof isn’t leaking
the drawer rolls perfectly
i belong in the tool box
just wanted to be more
Tag: Love
green screen
i love the way
you exist in this world with a smile;
dark clouds only over the horizon
your temprate ignites that darkness
leaving your forecast clear and sunny-
others will call it a fake
a green screen over everything
but i’ve been in that studio
they haven’t seen the production
your light cultivates;
the one piggy that got away
raised with bricks
stacked high with a peep hole
just can barely see out
cold stays in
life stays out-
this was fine
no really i prefered it this way
all the big bads would come
brothers and sisters dissapear
but i was good;
pretended not to hear their screams
pretended not to care
pretended not to be home
that keeps me up at night
they rebuild out there
and i’m still in here waiting
for
something;
if they can’t get in
how can i get out
seems air tight
so how am i still breathing
a dream of butterflys
shattering these bricks like glass
i’ll be gone- so fucking gone
maybe to find those taken
those that never had a chance
or to feel everything that i could only dream of;
i hear the big bads coming again
they can’t stop them
all i have our ears preparing for horror
it’s safe here
it’s safe here
memory lane-
when you walked through that door
that door;
i fell
down
down
i remember my eyes opening
and never waking up
a dream
a dream so real i remember the smell of your hair
the sun on my arms
i remember it all;
like it happened yesterday
i don’t know if that day ever ended
i hope not;
participation trophy; one for the grave
you matched and won
i’ll never forget that
you showed
deflated;
fates and twisted humanity
they go together like target and panera
every corner;
but ill tell our kids-
you showed when everyone pointed and questioned
you fucking tried;
more then they can say
return address
when i think about it
the world spins in the opposite direction
it’s fine i mean, she is her own women
but which star is receiving
for when i pray i know your wonderous name
send flowers and wishes for the future
mines and yours
i’m not the monster they said
not the one i was supposed to be
or the one you heard i was
i survived against
your brother in flames
you sister in tears
your mother digging a shallow grave
but i plead to you
watch our shadows closely
we wander off the rift
every no and then
but we will walk up straight
find our way
in your eyes
so maybe a cane for the shakey path
a jacket for the questionable weather
a stamp for this letter that one day will come to you
window watcher
all through a window
safe and secure
nothing gets to you
but i see it in your eyes
crave the touch of skin
it’s not a sin
to open up and let it in
open up
and let it in
seeing double:
every step is a step forward
forward not always straight
straight enough with a slight angle
angle that will dwell on for days
days we can’t get back
back of the line we’ve been here for hours
hours i’ve been counting
counting on someone to throw me a bone
bone that no one will throw me
me exhausted on my third drink
drink to the bottom feels full
full enough to try again
again
sincerely, lily
lyin’ to these boys
you were never invited
fell ablaze and denied it
lyin’ to these boys:
you were never invited
wandered the world
can’t trust anyone with a mask on
brings you back to those days we act young
dark times: hood up top down rollin’ blocks
flying high they called us the young hawks
lyin’ to these boys
twenty five and we failed em
twnety one and we runnin’ out of time
you were never invited
stormin’ the waters but you babbies are just overcastin’
sorry;
but not really
the words out your mouth are just silly
yes really
no they aren’t busy
they just don’t want to see your face sincerely, lily
damn
lyin’ to these boys
your the guest of honor
just not for honor
two years will all be goners
you say we are all on a roll
dishonor to the ones out yondor
stay home
you weren’t invited
bacchus
i believe it’s meant to be
when the rain swept away
the nine on the night of wine
left all on the right wing
so i sink
swept away on the nine
i remember the wine
in boxes- floating
sent away with a sticker in rain
meant to be
swept in the rain
sinking
on the night of wine
Saint's Muse 