Writing, Ideas, & Stories
it’s like
we turned the clock;
left everything
the way it was,
except for us.
i’ve changed.
either for good or for bad-
the road traveled
left scars
memories;
made a lot of 2nd opinions
on things once ruled out.
to give everything a second chance
so life
doesn’t have
anymore
what ifs.
it was just a gesture
something simple;
but i hold it like a widow holds their child
something;
irreplaceable.
i wonder
what me now
would tell
a me
not ready to hear about the future.
at that time
the single grain of rice
had the weight of the world,
steamed
and afraid of loss.
i’d tell him
i think i’d tell him
you’re right
this loss,
won’t feel like another
because it was real.
they’d never believe
the whole story;
it’s too wild-
weak to week;
i knew i was wrong-
for the right reason
i was wrong.
the clock never hit 7pm,
for our sunset-
i remember those nights
they’d never believe
we’d wake
one day
apart
talking about a sunset
together
writers block
took me out back
and beat me with bats
like office space.
talked a lot of shit
thought it would never happen to me
been a rough few years.
motivation, i find myself thinking about
motivation, what motivates
how to
where when
how to stay motivated,
when the bats
came swinging down
i can’t remember
what that felt like-
it’s a blur
trauma blocked,
the last swing
left a bruise under my right eye
my good eye
& now
i wanna protect what i have left
not the person; i use to be
now- when i see the ocean
i know it’s endless
–
the color blue, pops more
locks the door
drops the keys
and dances her hands
through crashing waves-
the color blue
her dress was see through
deep blue- a raft of bamboo
paddling an avenue
to you
sky blue to the north
fear of deja-vu
keeping you in my field of view
baby blue.
i wonder;
three hundred
thoughts plundered
& wondered;
one too many laps
a two time relapse
one of your wonder
-ful traps.
at our finger tips
something crystal clear
before man made smog
i found comfort in the dark
yet it’s your heart that scares me
i lost warmth in the light
but it’s your words that terrify me
our memory; is tainted
by beating lies
i remember
when everything was put together,
like the lego x-wing
before it crashed;
& fell to pieces.
trigger warning;
i remember the burning-
the smell of blood
keeps my stomach turning
nightmares swarming,
only peace we crave is at the bottom of a bottle.
Saint's Muse 