Writing, Ideas, & Stories
i want it more than you
so keep my name out of your mouth
i don’t have the ego for this era
and it’s on the low
you can read my name from your couch
you’ll go to the internet and vouch
that your time was stolen
that i never punched out
this wasn’t your shift
and this isn’t overtime
i’ve been here putting in two times
working two times as hard
putting in two times the effort
and you’ll complain two times as much
but i never learned your name
but you know my story
i worry that i’ve wrote it before
said it before
and the words lose meaning
like white out to a dictionary
i mutter white noise
it’s not that this was my goal
or i over say these words
i don’t want you to question or forget
i don’t believe in ten seconds you’ll forget
it’s the eleventh i want to be remembered
and after the twelfth i’ll be there to hold you
thirty i’ll build you a fort that we can live in
a map will be in your email in the morning
i couldn’t walk on water
i tried for months
drowning on my own blood
drowning on myself
i couldn’t get across
i couldn’t walk on water
i couldn’t get back to you
a palace in comparison;
in comparison to the dump
where i find myself foraging for berries and a necklace
a necklace to present you:
i see it in my dreams, it is beautiful a single gem
the color of a lawn that exist longer then one summer
and i want to put it around your neck,
a present for a princess living in her palace
anyway to distract the fact that i live in the dump
and i want your parents to like me
and i want to be invited back
but i only have the one necklace
Woke up this morning
With a bright idea
Maybe I can exist
Forever right here:
pulled up with two to my name
nothing but a dream of fame
the lonely girl in the back screamin’ same
i’ll be here longer then you expected
spread all this magic i’ve collected
screamin’ louder then all ya’ll projected
change in the moment
change for the moment
singin’ over this fountain drinkin’ your bestowment
flyin’ high feelin’ real cool(cool)
stylin’ smoke chillin’ i’ll never run out of jet fuel
until I run out of jet fuel
Fate in your hands
While you’re waitin’ for me
I’m already there
Fallin’ in deep
Now is only now
Head back to the ground, dear
ring in the bell;
it is a new year, at least by our estimation
lets face it the only dates we know are the ones sold to us
it is a new year, new year new me
but will go to the same places
eat the same food but work out for a month
new me
ring in the bell;
it’s dinner time
let the feast begin
eat like the food stopped coming
eat like everything before this was just appetizers
eat like it’s thanksgiving and we’re celebrating the gratitude of a race
before we would betray everything they stand for
eat like the food is fucking delicious
and don’t forget to thank the cook
ring the bell;
it’s the ninth round and you know you’ve lost the last seven
at least
only way to win is to put that other guy on his fucking ass
bite down and go forward
it doesn’t matter if you go down, what’s the difference
bite down and go forward
at least you go down on your own terms or you win
bite down and go forward
click those gloves together and show the results of all your hard work
the masterpiece hanging on the basement wall- give it some sunlight
the weight you’ve lost, it’s not much but it really is though
bite down and go forward
and hang that belt over that stuffed dear your great-grandfather left for you
ring the bell;
and through that space
he sought a moment
a moment where space wasn’t suffocating
and they could breathe;
away from these fumes left from yesterday
the suffering of those before left to rot
to choke the present
and the gift was this moment-
where we let our guard down;
let the space travel past
arms open wide
a space
where existing isn’t a bother
a crime
where existing is a gift
it wasn’t a joke or saying
not a line to pick or a quote to be memorized
nothing annotated or on the back of my hands
it is all here-
with you standing across from me
i know what i’ll see for today tomorrow
and the next tomorrow until i am all out of them
the highlight of my day i’ll make the highlight of my life;
you can know this now
because i’ve known for quite some time
that time was a knock off until you were added;
all candid- just waiting for my life to be stirred
thee unforgettable flavor
falling for you deeper
truth is i could never leave her
found peace in your arms
you took down all of my alarms;
i awake with you in mind
with you in my eyes
i want this everyday
i see tomorrow in your eyes
charmed by your vision
home improved on the television
i see tomorrow in your eyes
binge watching my favorite show
i want to believe-
believe that today and the next are not a patch of air floating between my fingers
that your hands feel something real and not a figure of my imagination
is this- me
i can see what is real but it slips through my fingers
chasing like a dream i will fall through
ghosts of days i want to forget haunt the ones that i need to remember
is this- me
giving up like a dream i don’t know what is real anymore
maybe will buy a firehouse
make a dream of this nightmare
Saint's Muse 