I’ll never stop

cutting these holes and creating a new tunnel.

To live with the old

is to live in a shadow-

I think it was on a box of cereal or something.

The silver spoon banks the hum from the kitchen light

and burns a hole through the wall.

Panic- yes- mom is gonna kill me.

 

She hasn’t lived here in ages though,

and the one you want is out hiking,

you’re alone-

looking through a hole that was already there

and a bowl of cereal has been out for ten minutes-

it’s soggy.

Work is late- late for work

can’t stop staring at the hole in the wall

 

the next morning will come-

she’ll still be gone

the hole will still be there

and the cereal will still be soggy.

 

i knew it would be hard but

you never know until the day comes.

looking in between this fence

sign reads- “Just Settle”

i can’t find the courage to settle for something less than magical.

i’ve seen the highs of the hills and the clouds below

just wouldn’t understand.

snow ball fights and ski lodges

on the other side of the fence.

would you, settle? honestly?

take a seat and willingly accept

that this new source of  feeling is- can be- something

and place it down and walk away-

would you?

a day like today-

a little bit of Summer and hazing desert,

the something new is around the corn-

i’ll never want to stop climbing that mountain

where the fences aren’t high

and the Summer holds their chase.

will look down one day at those in Summer-

scaling

wondering why we struggled to stay put

or i’ll stand on this side of the fence

a protester without a sign

and just a bit of magical incentive

and a story about a mountain.

Hang gliders

from day to-night

dangling from the stars

from night to snow

crawling fear of loss climbs up their legs

 

sadistic heat tries their sides too high to stop and fly

from hell to now

 

from now to the landing

they said it would be easy- two hands on the wheel

flow go from gold post and a Jumper like Hayden

changed the world in an evening- one hand and a cold feeling

they said it would be easy- lost sight of the pad

one map and fried pen

need to go home, on tour with endless shows

endless loops- they said

same map and sinking blimps

it would be easy

if the landing pad stayed still.

Truth exists somewhere between the dark and the light

holding our hands out

floating down the stairs

between existing and not.

We love each other dearly

holding our hands out

catching the sun

chasing the moon.

You never-

you never smile with your eyes

they’re a wanderer

fielding dreams

a true i by i.

I want this.

To be ignited and fueled by-

wonders-

wonders yet worshiped

and only recently discovered

and laying flags like a moon wo(man)

and you’ll be spotted.

To be surrounded by this world

this art

this beauty

your beauty. The hands on the wheel

I’ve always steered alone

(maybe I don’t have to)

the road is wavy

you with the map

(and me with the luck)

will slay this planet.

chasing the dream-like I’m chasing you

clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.

wear you on my wrist

like a tattoo

not a name or a sign

but your eyes

so you can see what I see

the chandelier swaying

the view of a goddess tiptoeing

the stars weighing in.

never had view like this- I can tell

peaking once and then twice

a gaze looking back

and never breaking contact.

I can never tell- what you want

even with time, this will never heal

with these hands, lifting you up, to heal

but when I stop, you never seem to stay.

And I’m holding on

waiting until you’re really gone

I cannot stay

finding another way.

I can only feel- my hands fall, so many times

can do no right and patch this up

I’ll swallow my pride, I only want to belong

setting the clock and finding the place.

I’ll try to find another way

but I cannot stay

yet, I’m holding on

until you’re really gone.

i’ll change your life.

if you let me,

will bring the dead back to life

dance across the oceans

drink wine before it breathes.

if you let me,

the sun will always rise

you’ll always have someone to hold

the dice will always roll seven.

if you let me,

i’ll burn down these walls

cover up the still with life

chase the hounds that howl away our dreams.

if you don’t,

the park will be empty

a frisbee left on roof

the street light will flicker

and the still will command.

void all transaction

stop on the elevator keys

translating a language not taught

you won’t have anywhere to go.

checks and balance

skating the lines

and shattering them

with flowery descend

and an everlasting taste.

The last night

heating up that night

leftovers for dinner

and here comes the winner.

Tears flying 1st class

she can see her time fly past

holding back space on two hours

long night and a cold shower.

This seat is taken

a shot will always miss if it’s never taken

making dinner for two

table set, another miss cue.

Finding the end of the barrel

holding my eyes hostage- in peril~

and I’ll find myself

talking to myself

about myself

with myself.