a crewmate on our last days – “be
less of yourself for anyone and the sea will reclaim you,
our lives on Leon; this boat will change you
so you can survie, we live on our captains words:
where the water bleeds fresh, will live as kings of!
we sailed on Leon for days without rest
collecting fools gold for our nest,
until the sea gave out
reclaimed Leon
like a mother and child
i’ve written this a thousand times
told you in a hundred ways
will remember you for ten lives
and love you entierly in this one-
i worry the metaphor will fail you
be lost in a bee hive as i’m covered in honey
rip my chest open with your pooh like claws
and never leave this cave,
the scoreboard is still up
broken down over the years
it has been awhile
you’ve been hiding
i know you’re still kicking
i can see the fog like breath from your den
i can smell it;
old stained blood eyes
you must be waiting for my back to turn
but i am done with you
i know you will stay
but that was our last bout
this won’t be about
you anymore
we ring in this new time
all i want is to love
love everything
love everything harder
everyday.
to remember
that is what matters,
let’s sing
let’s dance
let’s let the world around
dissapear
i always here:
“where did you go?”
face plastered on milk cartons
at the local college poster boards
whispers at the taverns-
i heard he’s in miami now,
settled down
stable job
sings songs on the pier to the birds
or
he’s a frog
spends half his time in the sea
the other half in a zoo for you to visit,
i am right here,
every night you know where to find me
curl me up in your palms
but i won’t purr like before
like god you left a long time ago,
you can’t expect a warm welcome
healthy exchange
where did i go,
i left your intrest circle
so you spun me out
i am right here
singing songs on piers
swimming at the sea
writing poems somewhere in between
where i’ve always been
i don’t want to forget
anything-
this year has been a simulation
to test
everything;
to evaluate what it means
to live
that’s why you can’t see the scars
they aren’t real.
you want to believe it was
just to feel the fire of life
i caught myself
from a burning feeling,
something similar
as running away
from a place you called home.
sometimes you have no choice
when everything is crumbling
holding onto those few things
that keeps you on this earth
but you can’t-
the smoke was thick that night
waved like a flag in the night
as if it was surrendering.
this won’t be the last time
i let you down,
a bag full of errors
waiting to slip down these steps-
i joke
say it’s part of my programming
but you only notice
because you’ve always been around
this isn’t a game
but we play like one
take your ball and run
whenever you don’t like the outcome
couldn’t live without one-
the rain;
i remember it being, lighter
walking through it
hands as an umbrella
a scene i remember
in a novella
‘wants only go so far
without the time’
i failed you
an exam i missed
to hide away
to blow these streets
leavin’ our sheets
retail feats
knock me off my feet
fallin’
failin’.
your eyes are subtle reminders
that these ties were never crossed
left on eye level finders
and lossed-
one day i will forgive myself
just not on this calendar
circle a time
when the clocks hands are down
when i can see my own eyes
in your reflection
