I watched the clock

in admiration

still hands confidently knowing

that there will be

a tomorrow

Trying something new

a long-winded form

but I’m worried-

I’ll run out of words.

When the fountain of youth dries up

and I’m dried up

will the pen be at my side

like a lover in my final moments

or will it leave

like a lover in my worst.

These words are all I have

reading the dictionary like a playbook

like a menu of life

from the fanciest restaurant on this planet

and I’ll be the only alien.

These words aren’t just for me

I want them to carry

carry the ones I love over the threshold

to you reading right now

to drive over to see that person

yes that person the one you deny loving

because it is to hard to or they just don’t know

and tell them that this is for them

and they’ll see your beating heart in your hand.

I know the feeling-

her love to me is like a lightning bolt

entered without warning and left everything inside

melted and soft

but when she leaves it’s all

static

like a black and white tv after midnight.

So will train these words

put a headband on

turn a lap into a mile

so I can carry this fear in a pocket instead of using these two hands that were just meant to hold you

and these words will carry.

A lot of the time

I don’t know what I’m doing.

On the train reading Iliad realizing I’ve never held a spear-

fought for something bigger then I-

no I couldn’t imagine what that power would feel like

I would just say the steel tip drew blood

quicker then the pen could spill ink.

maybe it was poor choice of words

maybe- am I holding the right spear?

Keyboard warrior

fighting for the little guy

for me who couldn’t say a word

for someone like me now, struggling

this is your spear.

I do not blame you

left the door wide open

treats on the door step

clutter in the bedroom.

I basically asked you

told you to get the fuck out

I need you here

but I do not deserve you

you could be solving global warming

curing cancer

writing the next great manuscript

not worrying about what page I am on

did I send out those poems

did you pick up the dog from the groomers

(shit)

 

The world needs you

it would be selfish-

to keep that door closed

 

but, I will not close it behind you

selfish or not

I will watch you

rule this world

and I will write about it.

We watched the sun set-

it won’t be the last time either-

yet, either reality or responsibillity will break this spell

it’s one of those knock off spells

the lasting five minutes type-

but i buy them everytime

just to see the rays surround your eye lids

to watch your hair brush back without your hands

i fill up my mental sd card everytime.

it was a cracked mirror-

saw him from across the room

drapped in cape and valor

emblem across his chest- a Fleur

and i hit the floor.

dropped to get a glimpse

up so close i need to get a pic

his identity a secret, loved ones waiting at home

maybe no loved ones

a treasure by night

a martyr by day

and he was standing right here but

it was a cracked mirror-

not who i thought it was at all.

took a day or two but the mirror is gone

replaced by his poster,

have to get his autograph,

another day.

I don’t got a reason to lie, that’s the truth from the sky

just stayin’ up long enough to breathe now its time to take leave

blowin’ away like leaves payin’ fees bitchin’ about that light breeze

fuckin’ on a sunday- and we finish prayer on the way home.

Back on my shit again and this is my jam

called it out get back in line get with the program

I’m only keepin’ good company

I am not talkin’ to you if you don’t have love for me.

 

Movin’ aside- oh wait thats you

you’re in my way of me and my crew

you’re such a monday and my friday ass won’t fuck with you

this is the debut

Follow me- I know the way

Yeah, you know you better stand

everybody got money, get the band together

movin’ like you can’t stand the weather

but it ain’t gon’ rain always.

 

i do not believe you-

the truth labeled across your forehead

only after caught with dripping hands

do not bother walking over that threshold

you are no longer welcome walking over me

i caught you

the lingering aroma

the paw prints on your shoulder and back

did you enjoy the zoo?

brought some souvenirs with you

verified parking stamp

and a pressed penny

glad you had a good time

now walk your ass back there

and see if it’s open past midnight.

i dropped my pen

down a sewer drain

i never heard it land

swarmed in shadows

hugged tight like a loved one

down a hole to a place of wonder.

a place where you are here

dinner just ended

and when i leave

you will kiss me:

kiss me like i am off to war

like you have not touched lips in a decade

like you find the taste of love at the tips of mine and that is the sweetest pie

like you have found that special factor and it’s here.

 

that pen is probably gone

but i have another

and i will finish that wonderland

when you discover

how weak you are

every pebble can break your bones

but you’ll value every stint

shield wall

hugs

that’ll stop

every little pebble

coming tomorrow