not the river, but the dam
i only have stop in my vocabulary;
but i see the cracks
the water pushing through
you yelling cannon ball
as you squeeze through my arms;
it’s okay on this side
but over there
i can’t catch you
Tag: Insecurity
torx
i find myself closer to the bottom of the tool box
used only in extreme cases
every once in awhile
but forgotten when everything is good;
i get it
when the roof isn’t leaking
the drawer rolls perfectly
i belong in the tool box
just wanted to be more
the one piggy that got away
raised with bricks
stacked high with a peep hole
just can barely see out
cold stays in
life stays out-
this was fine
no really i prefered it this way
all the big bads would come
brothers and sisters dissapear
but i was good;
pretended not to hear their screams
pretended not to care
pretended not to be home
that keeps me up at night
they rebuild out there
and i’m still in here waiting
for
something;
if they can’t get in
how can i get out
seems air tight
so how am i still breathing
a dream of butterflys
shattering these bricks like glass
i’ll be gone- so fucking gone
maybe to find those taken
those that never had a chance
or to feel everything that i could only dream of;
i hear the big bads coming again
they can’t stop them
all i have our ears preparing for horror
it’s safe here
it’s safe here
participation trophy; one for the grave
you matched and won
i’ll never forget that
you showed
deflated;
fates and twisted humanity
they go together like target and panera
every corner;
but ill tell our kids-
you showed when everyone pointed and questioned
you fucking tried;
more then they can say
sincerely, lily
lyin’ to these boys
you were never invited
fell ablaze and denied it
lyin’ to these boys:
you were never invited
wandered the world
can’t trust anyone with a mask on
brings you back to those days we act young
dark times: hood up top down rollin’ blocks
flying high they called us the young hawks
lyin’ to these boys
twenty five and we failed em
twnety one and we runnin’ out of time
you were never invited
stormin’ the waters but you babbies are just overcastin’
sorry;
but not really
the words out your mouth are just silly
yes really
no they aren’t busy
they just don’t want to see your face sincerely, lily
damn
lyin’ to these boys
your the guest of honor
just not for honor
two years will all be goners
you say we are all on a roll
dishonor to the ones out yondor
stay home
you weren’t invited
the miner
i challenged you;
further then i should have
the cracks are showing and your hair is thin
and i blame myself.
never told you when to stop
showed you how to quit
just a brick and a pedal,
and i only watched.
i should have asked what you were thinking;
what was the miner doing in the deepest part of your thoughts
was it gold he was finding or coal
but seeing your eyes i know what he was finding.
your hands were clean
yet your body ran red
the miner never quit
and you payed the price
and i blame myself.
i could have stopped you
maybe saved you-
now i search the miners left in the dark
the miners left in the dark
yes.
should i?
wander around this empty room reading the same lines until they are burned into my brain
should i?
sing it in a different note feel it bottle in my throat read it write it on a different note
should i?
read about it on the front page kick it into another gauge feed it all into my road rage
should i?
show up at your door let you know this is meant for more i’ll never leave this is what i stand for
should i?
broken world blvd;
forward- all forward
away from the santic minefield
the shadow of a lesser form
frantic heat shield;
you walked a lonely road
the day is now red
halted on tolerance avenue
left pondering your world view
a lot
after you’ve lost your job and the world is crashing
what will you have;
when the night is swerving down the highway with a half empty glass
what will you have;
fresh off the books heading down the tunnel toward a chair and a needl
what will you have;
remembering those few days rowing down to the river with the kids
kids with a pole and some bait late in the evening with a catch
catch a memory the size of a tuna under moon before the long night
night, that night- we had it all
purity in the eyes of spirits
chase like the wind runs after its mother
without thought the words find their life;
the words sleep and find their way
pure and it’s a dream
never lay with ambition;
turns the dream into a nightmare
loses the nature and the beauty
the spirits that made these word
will hold them captive
the spirits made these words
and they’ll take them back
Saint's Muse 