Starless Moon

on eves

of the full moon

i’m terrifed to fall asleep-

what if i never wake-

never again:

a drunk cig with the gang

park & album dates

trash-talked games with my brother-

last thing i ate, was grilled chicken-

do i even need to diet??

i want a steak with salt fries

to share a sundae

to have a street dog after dancing

to feel the sun

one more time-

please-

i want-

i want to keep wanting.

want to- cut the excuses

write the book

sing loud and proud

love each day like the last

what if-

i never get to tell you-

i’m sorry.

just so you know,

i love you-

i still see your silver necklace

wrapped around your polished neck.

i messed up

i was in my head,

i couldn’t silence-

the inner monster

that craves

to destroy.

my inner demon holds me tight

making me watch

coaxing the howl

shutters closed tight

jaw wired bite

no windows in sight

coarse pelt brushes

my motionless skin-

what if-

what if

this is the last night

under a starless moon.