her eyes told it all-
black rings
one for each month.
she doesn’t count the one on her finger
he claims to wash the war paint away
but it won’t come off her eyes.
he doesn’t know
every time he picks up the rag
he’ll only add another ring
i believe- he means well
but he could never begin
to understand
what it is to have her face.

There’s no answer and you called twice

don’t bother leavin’ a message, I’ll leave it on read

still puttin’ me to sleep with your roundhead

crakin’ eggs and you’ll still be knocking

worked all night and they’re still rocking

hell of a promise and I’ll drop a sonnet

workin’ to hard sleeptalkin’ an told Pusha about Adonis

but ya’ll still here and

we keep on pushing your buttons.

But let’s pretend that everything is alright

we keep pretending that everything is alright

so lets just keep it movin’

open a mall on my arm

a hits farm few firearms until I set off the fire alarm

and I’m still here pumpin’ for your pleasure

but catch me slippin’ makin’ headlines

not a feature on Take Care

but take care- take a shot for me

not just a fruit tree presents under the christmas tree

where is my queen bee

gone for the night, but

we keep on pushing your buttons.

Tonight- we will drink until our eyes roll out

down the street

you can’t bare to let your heart follow

but you can’t take your eyes off her

so will drink until our stomachs come out of our throats

those butterflies have been living there

and they haven’t paid rent

so they need to go

so drunk will we forget names

but the invisible tattoo on your wrist

forehead lips tongue blood

like a name tag that I stole to get in

I can never forget

so will drink- to waste time

to borrow a few seconds of clarity

you wander in the parts I want to close off

but you keep the store open

like a holiday that never ends

so will drink

to hope that you are drinking too

We all- carry luggage across every street we cross

in conversations with each person we meet

can’t see it under your fancy microscope

out of view from your telescope

it’s not a star shining bright

or a molecule deep inside

it’s our outdated calendars.

I see how heavy your bags are, heavier than the next

and I love you more than the next

so I’ll carry the weight

just to soften yours

you say

it’s not my responsibility

this is my burden to bury

the shovel was handed to me by my weaknesses

shouted to dig and dig and bury my former self

with this forty pound lug next to the old me

shriveled and shaken and not ready to exit

but for me to exist

it can’t.

I helped an older lady unload her car

full of boxes with labels on the side

she was saying her grandson was late

but will be here shortly

and that she was grateful

she tried to give me money

but I couldn’t take it-

at first.

You can’t see it

but my luggage is hidden-

on an unmarked street corner

with an old family blanket covering it,

was evicted the other day

and I want to move in with you

share plates and stories and towels

bury our faces in noodles and cheap wine

this luggage isn’t heavy, when carried by two

those flights of stairs

aren’t so scary

no need to fret extra scuff marks and falling items

can just move in

right into my heart.

It was only tragic the first time,

battered and beaten- a simple reciepe

abuse brownies

the black under my eyes

oh don’t worry I tell everyone it’s from lack of sleep

I believe it myself now

a wisk and baked at four hundred degrees

cleaned up the mess with a rag

just a little soap

and it never happened.

When you’re not around- my skin is dry

love cares for me brings me back to life feeling the floor through every single molecule

and now you’re a piece of me.

A Mosaic of a body

a real Frankenstein from two decades of puzzle pieces

hundreds of faces

but only several captured on my torso

and yours

it covers my heart.

Some are large

some the size of a nickel

but their compliment follows me like its own heartbeat

beating through my veins and taking each step with me and they have their own shadow.

Your voice-

adds commentary

drink more water

eat something for fucking sake

and it’s all in your lovely voice

people turn their heads like I’m having a conversation with myself

crazy in the mind crazy in the heart

fearless in my walk

because my step is one and with hundreds.

the night has been rinsed

smokin’ blue boon

and good noon past moon.

 

you’re high my friend

the mirror can only say

raise the sign

objects further then they appear

ankles broken on the cross

Achilles on the horse

sky is clouded smoke

and the only life blower

is your shooting star

screaming to keep your shit in line

and stop doing the lines

jumping rhymes

on that horse

it’s the trojan way

i wanted to believe you

see i can see the red in your cheeks

the fullness of your eyes

and the panting of your breath like you ran four blocks

uphill both ways through your ex’s arms to tell me

that it wasn’t like that

we are just friends-

three years trial and error

pickin’ up your baby daughter

been around nothin’ for a plotter

sippin’ tea more like toilet water.

Yet here in the rain

skeleton showing and your heart is the only thing pouring

and my heart is swollen

infected with your doubt

healed with your antibiotics

four doses of narcotics

itchin’ and you’re the one scratchin’

and I’m doing another line.

 

 

what do you do

when your words aren’t powerful enough-

not getting your message across,

i love you-

or when the mountain comes crashing down

when the gods say that is enough

and strike the planet barren

it is you that i want to stand next to

hold hands and have a final dance.

i just want you to know

that i want that dance

when the firey temple comes to collect

it’s you

it’s always been you that i wan-

that i need

when the rivers run high

and oxygen is a premium

will conserve it together.

when the darkness comes around

like it always does to play its will full tricks

i’ll never wander- i’ll be the light

and count the seconds until

we are warm in each others arms.

was that- strong enough?

this one; is for you

yes you, listening to this

reading this

you know me better than most,

passerby will label;

boy girl man fag straight short quiet

but you have seen me

heard me

opened the door i led you to

and the key are the lines that you dotted.

thank you

for hearing me

reading the words that build up

in my blood and my lips

and that kiss was for you

the words that find me when people label me

the restraint felt then to find the paper now

to tell you, you’re not alone

you have me

and i have you

and we’re listening

reading together

drafting lines to sew up this seem when the world decided

to cut us open

our words will heal those who bled

and will remind those who cut

that we are not alone

thank you for listening

thank you for reading.